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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470431">A haven in the storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noire12/pseuds/Noire12'>Noire12</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, F/M, Fear, Mentions of Death, Nightmares, Panic, Solas - Freeform, Solavellan, lavellan - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:55:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noire12/pseuds/Noire12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And tonight, the hallucinations came back to terrorize her once more. The horror of those days tormented her, even though it had been many weeks since then. Cold drops of sweat crossed her forehead, and warm tears slipped down her cheeks, reddened by the struggle to remain fixed in the present.</p>
<p>In moments as these, when fear took hold of the senses and made the darkness seem more daunting than it was, there was a man who could silence the storm. And that man was dreaming next to her. Solas.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, solavellan - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A haven in the storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another Solavellan work from yours truly. Special thanks to Ellie (ellie-effie on tumblr) for being my beta and having the patience to read my scribbles. Please check out her beautiful writings! You can find her here under the same username.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The wind shrieked its mighty cry in the darkness of the night as it spread the snow and threatened to seize any creature unlucky enough to be outside. Elluin Lavellan felt a wave of dread wash over her, as the sound of the growling wolf reached her ears. The long, agonising howls sent shivers down her spine, and a vision of a wolf chasing her forced its way in her mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sturdy walls of Skyhold offered safety, and the blizzard couldn't reach and hurt her again, but the fear found her even there. Elluin's dormitory was the safeties place in Thedas, but the linen sheets of her bed could not provide any solace, and the cheerful fire burning in the hearth couldn't drive away the dread shrouding her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few weeks passed since her trip through the untamed mountains' menacing paths, after the fall of Haven. Not enough time for her mind and soul to heal. Memories of the moments lost in the snow took control of every rational thought she could muster and broke the mental dam built to keep away any fear that might render her useless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As her heart thumped in her chest and the blood pounded in her ears, she jerked the red blanket closer to her chin to ward off the chill that could freeze the bones. Fright consumed her as the weather unleashed its snowy fury against Skyhold.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought she might die buried in piles of snow kept her awake every time the wind roared through the mountains. Panic slowly took control as her the breath came out hastier, shallower. The voice of caution whispered not to give in, to remain anchored in the present, but fear clawed too vigorously to ignore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She conceded to the recollection of those days lost in the snow. The memory of the blinding darkness of the mountain, with no guiding landmarks or helpful friends, only with the shriek of the wind to accompany her crept into her mind. The wild, unbearable pain gripped her, draining away any trace of faith she could survive in the bone-chilling cold. Warm, crimson blood spewed from the wound on her left leg and fragments of skin hung alongside her trousers, ripped apart by the impact with the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she stared transfixed at the ghastly contrast between the red blood dripping on the white snow realisation struck. She did not have long to live. She did not say goodbye to her friends. She will rot in this damned snow, and the wolves will gnaw on her frozen bones.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The delirium of pain invaded her mind, and unbodied voices whispered in her ear. Voices of her parents disappointed by their daughter, of her friends baffled by her weaknesses. She found herself lost in a sea of white, followed by the cries of hallucinations and the wolf that vigilantly waited for her to die.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>And tonight, the hallucinations came back to terrorise her once more. The horror of those days tormented her, even though it had been many weeks since then. Cold drops of sweat crossed her forehead, and warm tears slipped down her cheeks, reddened by the struggle to remain fixed in the present.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>In moments as these, when fear took hold of the senses and made the darkness seem more daunting than it was, there was a man who could silence the storm. And that man was dreaming next to her. Solas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He taught her to escape from the past by concentrating on the surroundings, on the colours and smells; by focusing on the sound of fabric rustling against the skin. And when all of it failed, how to reach out to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She dreaded showing weakness because of a memory that should be long forgotten. She has leaned on Solas too many times. All that weeping on his shoulder wounded her ego. Stubbornness dictated tonight was the time to solve it on her own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Right,", Elluin murmured as quietly as possible in a desperate effort not to wake him. "Concentrate on the blanket. It's harsh to the touch because it's made of wool. An old lady gave it to me as a gift because I saved their town. It's coloured red. Red as my hair. As the blood dripping from my mangled leg, down on the white snow. I never saw such a vivid red. Red means death."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her throat clutched painfully at the thought, and her heart smashed against her ribs once again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, no, this is wrong! Concentrate on the sounds. What do I hear? The wind. The wind hissing in the night, striking against my windows. The same wind that froze my face and stopped my breath."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her hands shook, and she had to clench the duvet to stop the tremble. The knuckles turned white as she squeezed harder. But Solas advised her not to use pain to secure herself in the present. She had to do something else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She carefully shifted closer to Solas, moving without making the slightest noise or rocking the bed. Even though darkness shrouded the room, she could easily see his face, helped by her Elven sight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was heavily asleep under their shared blanket. His chest rose and fall rhythmically. The deep and steady breath came out in warm, quiet puffs. If the storm did not daunt her with its terrifying howls, she would curl up into the curve of his body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin noticed how his features soften in sleep, with no frown to knit his eyebrows and no creases on his elegant, sharp nose. Sleep was the only time he looked quite happy, with no notes of melancholy to colour the fascinating features of his face. A faint smile tugged on his plump, voluptuous lips. She jealousy wondered what creature of Fade deserved one of his rare smiles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Following the steady pace of his breath and counting every descent and ascent of his chest, she managed to calm the maddening rhythm of her heart. However, the wind still pounded frantically in her windows, tempting her imagination to conjure more frightful ideas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, Solas steered in his slumber. With a low moan, his eyes gradually opened, and he shifted to face Elluin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Vhenan", he mumbled, the touch of the Fade still lingering on his eyelashes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Solas lifted his hand to one side of her face; his long, slender fingers caressed her round cheek. She leaned into his touch, a whimper escaping her lips. With him, she understood how much power a single touch carried, how it could erase any concern and bend reality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You have been crying", Solas said, wiping the wet streaks of tears staining her cheeks. "Why?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bed shifted under his weight as his head left the warmth of the pillow to face Elluin. He was now wide-awake, grey eyes staring into emerald green ones, the state of his lover more vital than any dream.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She opened her mouth to tell him but did not speak, ashamed. She bit her lip and glanced down, studying how her fingers fiddled with the margins of the blanket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nightmares?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin shook her head, not ready to admit the fears that kept her up this night. They did this from time to time, this annoying game of guessing what is amiss with her. Even if she trusted Solas with all her heart, talking about her fears still proved more troublesome than it should. She waited for her lover to realise what's the matter before she would dare to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Solas frowned, listening thoughtfully to the surrounding noises. The rumble of the winds made it clear, and he understood why Elluin trembled alone in the darkness. And why she did not wake him sooner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand reached for her chin, tenderly lifting it to meet her eyes. His adoration for her had no boundaries, and Elluin could see it echoed on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Vhenan, you are not a coward for being scared of the storms. Listen carefully. Something terrible happened to you, a shocking event wounded your mind, and your spirit is compensating. There is nothing to worry about, nothing shameful in asking for help. Why bother being next to you if I cannot help you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I invited you to my bed because I enjoy your presence, not because I require you to solve every single problem I have. You are my lover, not my mother, Solas."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There is nothing amiss in telling your fears. You cannot heal the pain by hiding it," Solas said, and pulled Elluin on his lap, wrapping the blanket around them, in an attempt to stop the shivers that shook her body. "I am here for you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," she explained, her voice muffled by Solas' shoulder, his familiar scent bringing a moment of tranquillity. "After I left my clan, I had to learn how to fend for myself. Working for the Merchant Guild isn't for the faint-hearted. My boss didn't care when I had nightmares. And you can be sure my clients didn't give a darn on me besides bringing their goods in one piece. If I showed any signs of weakness, no one hired me anymore. I can't let anyone see me as I am now. I can't have them assume I am incapable. A leader can never show vulnerability."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I will not consider you weak. I have never encountered someone as stubborn and as dedicated as you are. You frighten even the demons of the Fade with your determination."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin bit on his shoulder, laughter trickling at her throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I will take that as a compliment, Solas."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good, it was meant as one. Now, shall we talk about more cheerful subjects until the storm fades away? You constantly have questions for me. This moment is the perfect time for it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin did not respond, head leaning against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck. Solas ran his hand through her ruby coloured locks, his fingers tangling with the bouncy curls. He could live in this moment for an eternity, without the care of any duty, bodies entangled under the crimson blanket, no spectre of destiny to loom above them, the playful crackle of the fire in the chimney and the smell of her body chasing away any concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Have you thought about what you're going to do after all of this is over?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin's voice alarmed him, the moment ruined by her inquiry. The question brought back the present moment and pushed away any joy he felt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I, well, not quite,", he started as Elluin left the warmth of his neck to face him once more. "I did have plans. But now, I am not that certain anymore."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This is unusual for you. Can I help you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You helped more than you can imagine. I need more time to reflect on my options. But how about you? You do enjoy planning for the future."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bed creaked again. She moved to lay against the cold backrest of the bed, staring ahead. Her eyes fixated on the moonlight as it passed through the Dalish themed stained glass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I do. I want to retire. At least for some time, until my mind and body recover. My father... he won a house at Wicked Grace. It is next to the Arlathan forest, on the Rivain border. I could rest there for a few years. And if my exploring senses wake up, I can always stroll around the forest and see what I can discover there. And raise some chickens. And some nugs. Have a peaceful life for once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And the house is rather big," she went on, her voice cracking under the pressure of the words. "Big enough to host two, or even three people. Enough space for the two of us, if you want."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The silence of the night took hold of their room, as the wind ceased its maddening call. Her words brought silence. The noise of their breathing vanished.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin's jaw clenched as his answer delayed to come. Once again, she spoke without thinking, the entire conversation unnecessary. She did not want to constrain him, even though they had been together for almost a year. Solas was not the man to forget about the world and settle in a remote forest. She still hoped and dreamed of waking up in the same bed every day and taking care of the house together, with no malefic god to hunt them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She never dared to speak about it until tonight, her desire for normality always hidden in a back corner of the mind, never to be acknowledged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The truth came out in a second of weakness. And Elluin cursed herself for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She always pushed him for more kisses, more affection, more of it all. And when Solas refused to share the bed, in fear it might lead to something he was not ready for, she still insisted and promised to behave, to hold him even closer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Solas did not seem to be bothered by this and gave more kisses and hugs until a certain point, guilt followed every request.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they kissed, she never imagined this relationship would wake such a nagging hunger in her soul. She made a promise to him on that balcony: to not ask for too much, to not force him and take everything slowly. What a fool she has been. The promise proved troublesome to fulfil, the love and lust for him growing heavier as the days went by.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Solas, she felt true love, a concept that baffled her. She had no idea when too much was too much. When to stop or when to ask for more. Their relationship made her happy, but it also challenged her every day. It pushed her to pay attention to the man next to her, to his needs and wants. It was so simple for Solas to read her emotions and do the proper thing at the perfect moment. But she did not know how to do it, how to be the ideal lover for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And to top it all, she just insinuated, no, proposed to Solas to give up on his plans, on his life, to move in with her so they could raise nugs and hens together. She asked him to set aside any personal independence to fulfil her ridiculous daydreams. If the floor could split in two, she would gladly jump into the abyss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry, Solas. I didn't mean it like that!" Elluin said in a hurry, the colour of her cheeks matching the hue of her hair. "I'm not pressuring you to do it, please forgive me!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span> He caught her hands in his own, to stop Elluin babbling. Slowly, he kissed every single one of her fingers, his lips leaving a warm path in their way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Vhenan, please! I am the one to apologise for worrying you," he answered, letting go of her hands and tucking a rebel curl behind her reddened ear. "It took me by surprise. No one has offered me a place to stay, a house to call home. Your kindness has left me speechless."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Solas' forehead leaned against hers. With a whimper, his lips skimmed hers and Elluin eagerly welcomed it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moments passed. Their kiss was slow and soft, more reassuring than any words could be. A small display of love, of acceptance. Of gratitude for the love given willingly. They lazily parted their lips, none ready to give up the warmth of each other's breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're not mad at me for telling you that?" Elluin asked, her voice but a whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, Vhenan. I am honoured and humbled by it. Thank you for wishing to spend your life with me. I shall think about it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elluin nodded; his words freed her heart from the strain of regret. He did not scorn the idea. Hope was not lost. She buried his answer in the back of her mind to brighten the days to come.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you better now? Do you think you can sleep?" Solas inquired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmmm? What? Oh, yes, yes, I'm better now. I forgot about the storm." Elluin laughed, the thought of Solas being upset washing away the fear of the storm. "I think it stopped now."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence cloaked the room, the cry of the wind nowhere to be heard. The nightmare passed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I have found something in the Fade that might spark your interest. If you do not mind it, I can find you in the Fade and guide you towards it. I am curious to hear your thoughts about it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Really? Oh, I don't mind it at all, Solas. I trust you with my dreams. I know you won't invade my privacy. Please, show me!</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Very well. It will be my pleasure. Come!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a delighted squeal, Elluin accepted the invitation to join him in the blanket. His hands wrapped around her, squeezing her small frame against his chest. A content huff escaped Elluin's lips. His love was a haven in the maddening dance of fate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Solas?" she spoke, the call of the Fade tugging her away from the waking world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I know. Ar lath, ma'las.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ma’las=my hope</p>
<p>Thank you for taking a bit from your free time to read my scribbles. I hope it was good enough.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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